JJ Redux
by MaddieNicole
Summary: My take on the emotions and actions of the characters when they learn that JJ could be, and does, leave the BAU (based on the season 6, episode 2, "J.J.") JJ/Hotch.


**A/N:** This is another story that is tied into an episode (sorry, it's a habit! I promise I'll be coming out with more original pieces soon). I saw the episode "J.J." again last night and couldn't resist writing this.

I am not sure if I should post a second chapter or simply let this one be. Normally I finish a story before posting any of it in case my writing forces possible plot changes. Let me know what you think; for now this is completed.

**Summary:** My take on the emotions and actions of the characters when they learn that JJ could be, and does, leave the BAU (based on the season 6, episode 2, "J.J.").

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Criminal Minds.

"JJ" Redux

"JJ? The Pentagon?"

JJ immediately jumped on the defensive. "There wasn't a point in telling you since I knew I wasn't going to take it," she blurted.

Hotch raised his hands in front of him. "JJ, it is fine you didn't tell me. Just as I told Strauss, you had no obligation to do so." Hotch watched her uncross her arms and place her hands on her waist.

JJ found she could no longer hold her eyes to his and looked down at Hotch's polished shoes. She inhaled a jagged breath and held it as she waited for him to continue.

He decided to take his time before he said anything further. He could see JJ was anxious, perhaps even embarrassed, about all the attention that had been focused on her for the last half hour. He walked around his desk.

"JJ," he said.

JJ's eyes moved up and met Hotch's. "What?" she asked him. She felt her control dissolving. JJ didn't like not having control. Strauss and Hotch had basically blitzed her when he had called her into his office. When she had walked in and noticed him shutting his blinds she had known the cause for the meeting. She had only turned the job down the morning before.

"It's a great job. Are you sure this is what you want?"

Hotch and JJ stared at each other. JJ's stubbornness defeated Hotch's and he looked away first.

"You shouldn't even have to ask me that," JJ said. Her voice sounded aggressive and angry. She was hurt that Hotch felt the need to question her decision, whether he had meant to or not.

Hotch jerked his head in JJ's direction when he heard the animosity in her voice. "JJ there is no need to be so defensive. I do support you."

"I know you have my back! That's not…" JJ pressed her fingers to her temples. "How can you question if I'm making the right decision for myself? I. Belong. Here."

"You do," Aaron affirmed. "Of that I have no doubt. But as your boss I need to know you are sure this is what you want."

"Of course it is," JJ breathed. Her eyes became glossy as she gazed into her boss' hazel ones.

"All right," Hotch nodded. "Wheels up in fifteen," he told her. He grabbed his go-bag and opened his office door. He stood to the side and held it open for JJ.

He watched as JJ headed over to him. She paused just before she stepped out of his office and offered him a tight smile. He only nodded in return; too uneasy about the upcoming battle he would have with Strauss in order to keep JJ with them. With him.

/XXX/

"Hotch, man. We can't lose her."

"You don't think I know that, Morgan?" Hotch snapped. The unit chief looked back down at the report he held in his hands. After a beat his looked up at Morgan and Prentiss who stood at the table with him. "I'm going above Strauss' head on this. I'm doing everything I can to keep her," he calmly insisted.

Prentiss and Morgan exchanged glances. Reid, who was usually clueless when it came to these things, raised his eyebrows from his seat at the other end of the table. The three of them were not used to Hotch offering so much information about behind-the-scenes happenings.

"Can we do anything?" Reid asked.

"No." It was a simple answer that allowed no room for argument. Hotch went back to reading his report.

Dave approached the group and sensed uneasiness among his coworkers. He followed most of their eyes, with the exception of Hotch's, that were focused on JJ through the conference room windows.

Aaron noticed the silence of his team and once again looked up from the file he was attempting to read. All of them were staring at JJ as if she had already been taken from them. The thought irritated him to no end. "Can we focus?" he said.

As if they were jolted with electricity, his team sprung into action. He watched as they all went back to what they had been doing and then cast his gaze longingly at JJ. She was speaking with Kate's parents and had placed a hand on the mother's back. JJ's intuition amazed him and the gracefulness in which she did her job reflected the wonderful person she was.

Aaron felt a pair of eyes on him and looked to his left. He met Rossi's knowing eyes as the man shifted on the balls of his feet. Aside from JJ, Dave was the one other person that could see right through him. What Dave saw, he wasn't sure, but Hotch did know he needed to get some air. With one last glance around the busy room, he decided to take his leave.

He sighed with relief once he exited the station and down the front steps. He closed his eyes, angled his head and allowed himself to enjoy the bright sun that shined on his face. He dropped his head back down and opened his eyes when he heard the soft clicking of heels approach. Hotch continued to stare ahead with his arms hanging loosely at his sides.

"How are the Joyces?" he asked his media liaison.

"I tried to get them out here for some fresh air but they won't budge." JJ turned her head to look at her boss. "The team seems on edge."

Hotch looked at JJ for a quick second. "They know something is up," he said dismissively.

JJ nodded and crossed her arms. "You are on edge too."

Save for the activity around them, Hotch allowed their silence to envelope JJ's words. He wondered what JJ was thinking and what she thought he was thinking. "Want to take a walk?"

Worry blanketed JJ's face but she quickly recovered and agreed. Hotch placed a hand on the small of her back and directed her to their left. The two of them walked along the sidewalk that lined the building, consumed with their own thoughts.

Hotch cleared his throat. "JJ, I have to warn you. As much as it hurts to admit it, this may be above my head."

"Hotch? Doesn't it matter what I want? What you want?"

"No," he answered her bluntly. He squinted at her as he tried to keep the sun out of his eyes. He saw JJ's frustration on her face which was threatening to burst out of her. He began to regret the conversation he had initiated since they were in the middle of a case. It didn't make sense to make things harder on them. However, he trusted JJ to compartmentalize her feelings. He needed to prepare her for the worst and refused to let it wait until the last minute.

Aaron grabbed her elbow to stop their walk. He cocked his head to the side as he debated what to say. While the circumstances were not ideal, he allowed his stoic mask to slip away. He gazed deep into her eyes expressed concern and compassion. "JJ nothing's done yet. I just want to make you aware that while I'm doing the best I can…" his voice caught in his throat. "…and I swear to you I am…" Hotch whispered as he shook his head with desperation, "there's a chance this could be above my pay grade."

The weight of what he said hit her like a ton of bricks. For the first time since she'd known him, Aaron Hotchner doubted himself.

JJ stared at him in disbelief before the sincerity in Hotch's eyes began to comfort her. "I know, Hotch. Thank you for being honest with me."

Hotch looked down with a sense of shame. He should be able to do more for her, promise her more, but the brass was proving to be difficult. He felt JJ's hand settle on his forearm. That was when he realized he'd never let go of her elbow. He knew he should release her from his grip, but he found that he couldn't, just as he couldn't see himself letting her leave the BAU. He lightly squeezed and pulled her a step closer to him.

A car horn beeped nearby which ended their moment.

"I should get back to the Joyces," JJ said to him. They released each other and JJ wiped her palms on her slacks. She began to head back to the police station but just before she went up the steps JJ turned back to him. Hotch attempted to place an indifferent look on his face but found he wasn't capable of doing so. Only JJ could make him abandon SSA Agent Hotchner and become Aaron in the most inopportune times.

JJ took a step towards him, about to retrace her steps, but stopped. She opened her mouth, about to say something, but instead closed it. JJ gave Hotch a helpless look and silently begged him to fight for her.

Aaron saw the desperation in JJ's face. His hands squeezed into fists as he cursed the higher-ups of the Bureau. At JJ's expression he wanted to say some words of comfort but didn't want to be presumptuous. When JJ looked down and forced her feet to turn towards the steps Aaron no longer cared and chose to trust his profiling skills.

"JJ?"

The woman paused with one foot on the first step. Hotch took three paces towards her.

"I will do everything in my power to keep you with me," he vowed. JJ's eyes grew big and Aaron winced at his slip. "You do belong with us," he tried to cover.

JJ swallowed the lump in her throat and gave Aaron one last look before she headed into the building.

/XXX/

"Have her complete this and turn it in to me tonight." Erin Strauss handed him a packet.

"An exit interview?" Hotch asked with raised eyebrows. "She needs to have this completed by tonight?"

Strauss fixed him with a glare. "Yes. It's protocol."

Hotch fingered the corners of the packet he held in his hands. "Ma'am with all due respect, she is going to be upset."

It was Erin Strauss' turn to raise her eyebrows. "Are you suggesting she can't handle it?"

"Of course not." Aaron kicked himself for insinuating otherwise.

"Is this still 'not an emotional' thing for you?" she sneered, referring to their earlier phone conversation.

"I'm not sure I understand what you are implying," Aaron said. He could feel his patience wearing thin. His boss was stooping to lower levels by trying to turn the situation into something he'd convinced himself it wasn't.

"This is personal to you," she said without any sympathy in her voice.

Hotch refused to give her the satisfaction of a response.

At his silence, Strauss continued. "You seem to care a lot about this." Strauss narrowed her eyes.

"I do. She has made it clear numerous times this isn't what she wants."

"I told you, this is above me," Erin said with annoyance laced in her voice.

"Then consider my behavior as a representation of my team's reaction," he said. Strauss went to say something but he held up his hand. "Which is by no means is meant to imply that they won't continue to perform their jobs efficiently. However, I will say that it will make things unnecessarily more difficult for them."

Hotch stiffened as he waited for Strauss' reprimand. He has never cut her off before. He chastised himself for allowing his emotions to get the better of him.

"This isn't the only team that has faced transfers, Aaron. They will get over it."

_I won't _Aaron thought_._

"You have got to be kidding me!" Strauss yelled. She dropped the book she was holding onto her desk where it landed with a loud thud. She placed her hands on her hips and looked at him, astounded.

Hotch blanched when he realized he had said the words out loud.

"What on Earth has gotten into you, Agent Hotchner?" Strauss demanded.

Aaron blinked, unsure of what to say. He never let his guard down, especially when he was in Strauss' office. "I'm sorry, I was out of line."

"Yes, you were."

Aaron sighed when he realized he'd been defeated. "When is she expected at the Pentagon?"

Erin was not one to be empathetic. Nor did she let things slide. However, she couldn't bring herself to acknowledge what Aaron's slip of tongue meant. Jareau was no longer her problem so Hotchner's feelings were no longer a liability.

"They wanted her tomorrow, but I convinced them to let her finish out the week here. She cannot go out on cases but she can use the time to finalize things before she begins on Monday."

"Is that all?"

Aaron kept his steely gaze on her. While she'd never admit it, Hotchner's glare most definitely rivaled those of some of her superiors.

"Yes," Strauss nodded, giving him permission to leave. As the agent briskly walked away she shook her head. _Not emotional my ass, _she thought_._

/XXX/

"When do I leave?" JJ said.

"The end of the week."

JJ gasped and turned to face her unit chief. "What? No! I have to train someone," she persisted.

"They wanted you to start tomorrow," Hotch said. The defeat in his voice unnerved JJ. "Besides, I don't plan on replacing you."

She shook her head. "No. No you can't take this on too, you're stretched thin as it is."

"We'll get by. Maybe," Hotch joked, but it fell flat.

He approached her and handed her the interview packet.

"An exit…" JJ gasped in annoyance. "An exit interview? You're kidding me!"

"Strauss is big on protocol, you know that," Hotch said as he shoved his hands into his pockets. "Just be honest, JJ. It's all you can do."

JJ nodded and turned away from him, dropping the interview packet onto the polished conference table. She stared through the small slits of the blinds at the team, the family she was being forced to leave behind. Her eyes began to fill.

"How do I tell them I'm leaving when I don't want to go, Hotch?"

Aaron came and stood next to her as he watched his team laugh at one of Morgan's jokes. He looked at the woman next to him and sighed. His team could handle anything, but the family would be wounded long after JJ left. While the two of them knew she'd still be in the city, they also knew life would get in the way. JJ wouldn't be with them during their good times and not there to support them during the bad moments. The connection they each shared with her would gradually diminish as their lives moved forward. Even if they all vowed to not let the inevitable happen, in the end it would be unavoidable.

JJ couldn't bear to watch them any longer so she turned back to her boss. _No, not her boss, not any longer. _They were standing closer to each other than usual but neither of them seemed to mind.

"The brass likes to do this. It makes them feel like they're in control," Aaron answered her honestly. The low rumble in his voice captured JJ. She looked at his face, her eyes eventually landing on his mouth.

"Sounds like some profile," she huffed, still staring at his lips. She couldn't bring herself to look up at him, for fear she'd break down. She heard Aaron give out a breathy chuckle and the corners of his lips turned slightly upwards. She smirked, knowing she was the one who got him to smile. It was always her that got him to grin. _Who is going to make him smile when I am gone?_

It hurt JJ to think about so she lowered her head and turned back to look at her family. "You need to watch out for Spencer and Pen, they're going be hurt the most," JJ rattled out. "Make sure Derek doesn't stay angry. He'll be mad, make sure he doesn't take it out on Pen and Reid, he's the most protective with them and you always…" JJ took in a shaky breath before she could continue, "…always hurt the people you care for the most. Emily will bottle it up and keep everything in. Make sure you partner her with Rossi on cases, he'll be able to rein her back in. And Rossi," JJ looked down with a knowing smile, "is Rossi. He will get over it in his own way, he'll be fine." JJ bit her lip, willing her tears not to fall. "They'll all be fine." She repeated the mantra in her head over and over again.

"What about me?" Aaron whispered.

JJ finally let her tears fall. She still faced forward and avoided he gaze. His breath fluttered against the side of her neck and she could smell his cologne. It was a subtle, spicy scent that suited him well and JJ wondered why she hadn't noticed it until now.

"Don't be a bully." They both remembered when she first called him one on the Tobias Hankel case. "Don't shut yourself off from the team; they'll need you as much as you'll need them." JJ stopped and took a deep breath. She turned to face Aaron with a fake smile. "And if you do end up replacing me accept it or you'll scare everyone away. And don't forget to smile; you need to do that more often. Leave your paperwork here at night and get home to Jack."

Hotch stood silently, carefully hanging on to every word she said.

_Don't be a bully_, JJ muttering so in a room in a run down house while they all fought tirelessly to find Reid. _Don't shut people out_, JJ always insisting that he join the team for a beer, just to get him away from his case files. _Needing each other_, needing JJ. _Replacing me, _JJ being irreplaceable. _Smile_, JJ always making him smile in the morning, during the day, in the evening. _Jack, _JJ calling his office phone at night to check if he had left or yell at him to go home.

Hotch stood face to face with JJ and gently joined their hands. They left them down at their sides while Aaron bowed his head and JJ angled her eyes upwards in an effort to stop her crying.

"It is not going to be as easy as you make it sound." He lifted his head and studied her tear-stained face. She was beautiful, even in a time of pain. "Not for me."

JJ jerked her head to his. "Hotch?"

"I'll miss you," he said. It was simple and he'd meant for it to be a clean cut before they headed in their separate directions. Yet, Aaron still held her hands in his and JJ still stayed close to him, not choosing to back away. They studied each others faces, memorizing them. They hadn't expected things to be this difficult. Their emotions had burst through a figurative dam and showed no signs of slowing down.

"Don't kiss me goodbye, Aaron," JJ whispered into his face. She felt as if she could fall into him at any moment. If he kissed her, she'd never be able to let go.

She gave him credit when he showed no surprise at her blunt statement. Aaron shut his eyes at the image. If he kissed her, he'd never let her go. "I won't."

With one last squeeze of his hands he let her go. Immediately, he walked out of the briefing room, leaving JJ alone to clasp her hand over her mouth as she let out a sob.


End file.
